People Magazine and their annual list of 100 most beautiful people has always been a little suspect in my opinion. This year, though, they have hit rock bottom. I am not sure who the editor’s are trying to appease, but the fact that RUMER WILLIS is in the issue is proof that you can look like an ice-cold lump of rancid cottage cheese and as long as your parents are famous, people (or in this case, People) will kiss your scary butt.

Have you SEEN Rumer Willis? She is honest-to-God frightening. I actually feel a little sorry for her. Her mother is lovely. He dad is hot. Her step-dad is confusingly ambiguous, but still hot. Both of her little sisters are truly beautiful. Rumer is just plain hideous, though.

There was a little new item about a year ago that she was dating Zachary Quinto (Sylar on Heroes and Spock in the upcoming Star Trek movie) and I quite literally vomited a little bit. Well, after I fell out of the hammock chair I was sitting in when I read the story. He is impossible to even look at on screen, due to his inhumanly massive eyebrows. Rumer is not far behind in the eyebrow area, come to think of it. I had an apocalyptic flash of what a lovechild of these two would look like and was not able to sleep soundly for a week.

Anyway, my point is that you cannot trust Hollywood or the Media when they try to tell you what “beauty” is. Call your mom; ask her what’s beautiful. She will more than likely have a much better answer.